On Halloween

My feeling now is the same as what I had in October 2008.

I know I just need several days, then everything will be fine.

 

I know I am a crazy person.

I just always try my best to control myself.

One of my friends said that I have a controlling machine in my mind which always control myself unconsciously.

I don't want to rely on anyone and I must, I have to take good care of myself.

I must I have to know what I really want and how I should behave.

 

There is something wrong with my controlling machine recently.

I find it hard to keep controling. It's so tired as well.

I said I need to say a good goodbye to Mr. R.

But this goodbye is far beyond my expectation...

Did something really dramatic and crazy. All people on the world know it now, even Mr. M who are travelling in the Philippines knows it.

Shit I do not know how to explain this yet.

But somehow... I always want to laugh when I think of it.

Had dinner with D recently. We talked a lot.

D told me afterwards that not to tell anyone anything he talked that day.

I said no problem, but you can tell anyone anything I told you that day.

I don't mind. I don't care.

 

Mr. R is leaving. He is a very good foreign guy.

Thanks for the DVDs you left me.

Need to say a good goodbye.

 

I think I need a vacation. I can hardly think now.

 

Last Saturday, I finally did something I was always longing to do.

"But why you did that?" Someone asked me today.

"... I don't know. Just want to"

Whatever you think. Crazy, stupid, anyway, I don't really care.

 

Spring festival is coming. As usual, I don't expect it.

I don't like festivals. I always feel kind of pressure. You are always to surpose to do something.

But I love weekends, deeply.

Second time to Najing.

It was so much fun this time. Still I would hope it was not for business there, but fun only.

 

I felt so sorry recently.

I hate to be late, but I had some people waiting for me, which makes me feel so bad. Hate it.

I dare not make promise now.

"How about another movie together this Friday?"

"I would love to. But I can't promise you. I don't want to be late again..."

 

Life is challenging.

It's tiring and frustrating sometimes, but I have to say, it brings me joy and satisfaction as well.

This would be a precious period in my life.

PAST

Met a lot of friends recently.

Staying in Simon's car, with so great music and friends around, I really did not want to leave.

In the damn cold Wuxi, Cathy, thanks for your scarf. I still have a lot to talk to you.

Crazy KTV, dear all, did you find out that we have more boys than girls?

Allan, Vincent and Simon, even though we did not make it to C-Union, let's go there next time. Deal.

Simon, if I'd known it was so close, I would have taken a walk back with you, instead of taking a stupid taxi.

Dear friends, so nice to meet you.

It was tiring and frustrating for me recently, but this New Year weekend is really fulfilling and comforting.

Thought a lot recently.

Actually I am always thinking. I was often asked, "What are you thinking?" Only then did I realize I was absent-minded. 

I need a plan for the new year. I can't keep working, eating, sleeping all the time, but fail to think what I really want to do.

I need to read more. I need to learn more. I need to see more.

I have another new idea recently: I want to study abroad for half a year. Where, when and how? I don't know yet.

I don't want to have a routine life. I mean, graduation, work, relationship, marriage, house, car, baby....death.

Boring. Stupid. Get away. I don't want to do "what I should do".

Life is short. World is big. Nothing is meant to be. Why follow everyone's steps?

Discovered a lot of nice places in Guangzhou recently.

Having stayed in Guangzhou for over 4 years, I still don't know much about Guangzhou yet.

I need to explore this city.

There are always surprises around the corner.

Travel on my own again.

Walking along the riverside in Shanghai, I thought of the trip to HK.

Really miss Victoria Harbor;

Really miss the HK trip;

Really miss the friend that went with me;

I still remember the things that I leave in HK, but this time I can't leave them in Shanghai.

Shanghai, Jiangsu

I supposed to meet my friends here, but they all traveled to other place. Pity. But so did I.

We are not kids studying in the classroom, fighting for the same goal any more.

We all have our own things to take care.

I clearly understand, but I just though that it would be so great that I meet friends in some other place.

By the way, it's Janina's birthday party last weekend.

It's a very funny and interesting party, but to be honest I did not really enjoy.

I really love this blond girl, but she is leaving soon, so as Mr. R and Ms. A.

Or maybe Mr. / Ms. I DON'T KNOW.

世界这么大 每天发生的事情都那么多

如果为了其中一件事情睡不着 那我们不是天天都要睡不着了

 

接触的人越来越多 发现人真的是一种很有趣的动物

什么样的人都有 不同的人会有不同的想法不同的行为不同的处事方式

你不能绝对的说对与错 因为每个人都用自己的方式在活

 

很少生气

一来觉得没什么事情是大不了的

二来我是个冷漠的人 常常觉得无所谓不在乎

如果我真的很生气 请你觉得荣幸

因为我是在在乎这件事情

 

Be smart.

风 吹过庭院里的大树
原木桌椅上 游移着斑驳的光影
偶尔 飘落下的叶子 会停留在 老旧的枕木上
静谧的 恬睡

SleepingWood
只是慵懒的 缩在这个城市里
最安静舒服的树荫下
朴实敦厚 自然和谐的呼吸

地球村美食 音乐咖啡 酒精烟草 展览活动
这是个午后发呆的地方
这是个精神放逐的地方

今晚是德国商会的在这里举行的一个活动 其实就是小聚会

意外发现了这家非常特别的咖啡屋

舒适的环境 悦耳的音乐 诱人的食物 以及 身边的朋友

 我会再来的

带了一肚子的气回到家里 想想真是太不值了

这样的人这样的事 说到底跟我也不相干

为什么要生这么大的气呢 搞到心情不好了一整天

 

不过如果我不吭声 我还真的成了M说的机器人了

不管怎样 这次我坚持了自己的原则

不过绝对不要再这么做 真的很不值

 

发现我这个人

要不就毫无所谓

要不就固执到死

 

12月1日来临之前 有好多话要准备